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Sometimes I'm Dizzy When I Scream

by Deer Anna

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kaffeeringe I loved the concert yesterday. The vinyl is spinning all day. <3 Favorite track: Flowers On Your Floor.
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1.
Sidwis 03:47
I grind my teeth in my sleep I bite my tongue until it bleeds And it’s always hard to breathe Sometimes I’m dizzy when I scream It’s like I have to cut it out of me Or rip it out from deep beneath That part of me that comes and goes with pain The thing that’s keeping me awake There comes the flood that washes me away There comes the wave that takes me out And then it’s over, nothing left of me I don’t know what it‘s all about I think of things that I did wrong a couple years ago And then the ceiling crashes down on me, the vertigo kicks in Oh how can anyone decide to spend their time with me I‘d recommend them to keep looking there’s much more to see It’s like I have to cut it out of me Or rip it out from deep beneath That part of me that comes and goes with pain The thing that’s keeping me awake There comes the flood that washes me away There comes the wave that takes me out And then it’s over, nothing left of me I don’t know what it’s all about
2.
But I'll Go 03:59
Everything I do is not enough Everything you do is just too much I don’t know if I’ll make it without you I don’t know if I deserve to make it through But I’ll go to this place with you And you show me how it feels for you And you teach me how to deal with me Now I can see things I couldn’t see I need help to get some help Sometimes it’s harder than you think And maybe it isn’t as bad And maybe it’s worse than it has been And I thought you would be enough But it just doesn’t work that way And sometimes I don’t want it to get better anyway But I’ll go to this place with you And you show me how it feels for you And you teach me how to deal with me Now I can see things I couldn’t see But I’ll go, with you But I’ll go, with you But I’ll go, with you And I’ll go to this place with you And you show me how it feels for you And you teach me how to deal with me Now I can see things I couldn’t see
3.
Flowers on the carpet on your floor Your bedroom door locked from inside Flowers on the carpet on your floor The water of your eyes helps them grow every night That you cry in your sleep for help I can hear you at night Through my walls when you cry But when I see you there’s only dead silence I don't see you anymore Only the flowers on your floor That you take care of when you feel worse They get to see you when you cry Oh they see you all the time But flowers grow better outside Flowers on the carpet on your floor Sometimes the only life inside Flowers on the carpet on your floor When you badly suffer they grow and they thrive Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh I can hear you at night Through my walls when you cry And when I see your red eyes It is no surprise Oh when I see you... I don't see you anymore Only the flowers on your floor That you take care of when you feel worse They get to see you when you cry Oh they see you all the time But flowers grow better outside Oh I don't see you anymore Only the flowers on your floor That you take care of when you feel worse They get to see you when you cry Oh they see you all the time But flowers grow better outside Why don't you see me anymore I stand in front of your locked door And I beg you to let me help you But I can't help you anymore You're doing worse than before And the flowers on your floor are withered
4.
Never Awake 03:08
I always think Im wrong I’m too depressed all day long The worst is yet to come I’m rude and mean to some I hate myself too much I am not strong enough I love this life but hate myself I should feel good but I feel worse I have everything I want in my life But I cry all the time And I’m never awake And I’m never awake And I’m never awake I am so messed up Is there anyone who can fix that Is there anything that I could do To make myself feel good as new For me, and even for you I love this life but hate myself I should feel good but I feel worse I have everything I want in my life But I cry all the time And I’m never awake And I’m never awake And I’m never awake I love this life but hate myself I should feel good but I feel worse I have everything I want in my life But I cry all the time
5.
Lying in the dark Staring at the stars In this darkness I’m alone I hear things that I have known The monks across the riverbed Would probably be just as sad If they would walk the same way home If they would walk it all alone The growling from the water reed Gets louder and it takes the lead In this dark midnight symphony That somebody wrote just for me All these nocturnal creatures here Are gathering around the deer That’s standing in the moonlight spot And waiting for its life to stop The monks across the riverbed Would probably be just as sad If they would walk the same way home If they would walk it all alone The monks across the riverbed Would probably be just as sad If they would walk the same way home If they would walk it all alone
6.
Dory 03:15
Watching the earth at night While fighting falling asleep Cause I don’t want the sun to rise again And it helps me to ignore Myself if I don’t get too loud So I’m stuffing a pillow in my face Sometimes I watch Finding Dory Cause it looks beautiful to me And I think that it’s better Than the first movie And I hate to hear my neighbours And I’m scared to make a sound And the best part of the day Is to fall asleep at night And I’ll fall asleep at 3 o'clock today Just like any other night Sometimes I spend all of my evenings Searching for something to watch And then I end up watching nothing Cause nothing seemed to be the one Sometimes I watch Finding Dory Cause it looks beautiful to me And I think that it’s better Than the first movie And I hate to hear my neighbours And I’m scared to make a sound Sometimes I watch Finding Dory Cause it looks beautiful to me And I think that it’s better Than the first movie And I hate to hear my neighbours And I’m scared to make a sound
7.
Interlude 02:14
They‘re wondering why everyone’s depressed these days Have they seen what’s going on in this world I guess it doesn’t matter to them, they are pretty old Maybe they won’t see the things that they are being told Sometimes I think that it would be best If the things we fear will happen Would happen so there’d be some rest Maybe there won’t be much left Anyways, let’s take a risk If you want to see how long it takes keep going Somebody told me they don’t wanna have kids Cause how cruel would it be to put somebody in a world like this And I can understand them But to think about it hurts The only way to cope with it is to live in my own world Nobody can get in and nobody gets out And everything around us is real close to being worn out I think I won’t come back this time I’m already burned out I’ll always have a ton of stuff to worry about The people that start thinking are the saddest in the world You talk and talk and talk but you do not speak a word Don’t wanna live here anymore Don’t wanna breathe this air no more Don’t wanna see a face no more
8.
I’m crying at a concert Cause this is how I feel stuff I hadn’t felt anything in a long long time I think it’s getting worse There’s nothing left that hurts There’s nothing left to say So I’m going away My brain attacks my inside And eats up every feeling The things I love and things I hate become blurred in a fog creeping up to the ceiling It slowly fills the room I’m in and I start to lose my sight When I open the window it just won’t leave and I start to close my eyes I have lost the fight I have lost the fight I think it’s getting worse There’s nothing left that hurts There’s nothing left to say So I’m going away
9.
Isolation 03:11
I’m stuck here in this room I don’t know what else I could do It seems like I’ve done everything That I could do to keep me sane And so I’m lying in my childhood room And I feel trapped in my own home There’s nothing I could do about it Just hope that it’s not long I miss you way too much It really hurts a lot Oh I miss everyone I can’t see anyone And I don’t have the strength To get out of my bed Just wish that I could fall asleep again and Flip the off switch on my brain And so I’m lying in my childhood room And I feel trapped in my own home There’s nothing I could do about it Just hope that it’s not long Ohooo, Ohooo, Ohooo, Ohooo Ohooooo, Ohooo, Ohooo, Ohooo And so I’m lying in my childhood room And I feel trapped in my own home There’s nothing I could do about it Just hope that it’s not long Ohh, just hope that it’s not long Ohh, just hope that it’s not long
10.
Hold your breath and hide your bitterness From everyone around Head in the clouds And show some happiness Have both feet on the ground Be the strong one, every time Hold them in your arms Shut your mouth Don’t talk about yourself Don’t ask for help Head in the clouds Scream and shout No one around So just be loud Do it ‘til it hurts drown your inner words in alcohol and pain No path for you to take No choice for you to make It’s their blood in your veins Head in the clouds Scream and shout No one around So just be loud Just be loud Just be loud Just be loud Just be loud, just be loud, Oh Oh Just be loud, just be loud, Oh Oh I’ll open the front door for you but you will have to walk out yourself Say what you always wanted to say without getting ignored They‘ll close the door behind you if you leave now there’ll be no coming back Tell them to fuck off right now and run away without a regret Head in the clouds Scream and shout No one around
11.
I fall into your arms The only one who doesn’t make me feel alone I feel it in my heart I feel it when you’re gone I need your arms Need to feel your heart And I need your warmth It is so cold and still I’m cold still Broken, in silence standing still Broken, in silence Don’t you know that I just can’t stop dreaming in the night Don’t you know that I’ll just fly until I’m real high Don’t you know that all I want is you to hold me tight Don’t you know, Oh Don’t you know, Oh Broken, in silence standing still Broken, in silence standing still Broken, in silence standing still Broken, in silence Broken, in silence standing still Broken, iIn silence standing still Broken, in silence standing still Broken, in silence Broken, in silence standing still Broken, in silence standing still Broken, in silence standing still Broken, in silence

about

Sometimes I've been feeling shitty. This is the result. Enjoy!

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released September 1, 2023

WRITTEN & COMPOSED by Deer Anna
PRODUCED & MIXED by Ben Schadow
MASTERED by Kai Blankenberg
PERFORMERS:
Deer Anna (vocals, guitar, banjo, glockenspiel, organ, melodica, synthesizer)
Joel Fernandes (guitar, synthesizer, kalimba, backing vocals)
Jonathan Riedel (bass, backing vocals, synthesizer, trumpet)
Kian Kiesling (drums, percussion, hammered dulcimer)
Tadeo Fisser (trumpet, flugelhorn)
Timon Schempp (drums)
Friedel Viegener (drums, backing vocals)
Ben Schadow (synthesizer)

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Deer Anna Hamburg, Germany

A scream doesn't always have to be loud. In the case of indie pop musician Deer Anna, it sounds soft, casual, and true. Sometimes I'm Dizzy When I Scream is the name of the artist’s debut album. And this dizziness, the giddiness and reeling set in when the panic attacks come, when depression takes over one's body. But also when beauty makes everything in you waver to the best of its ability. ... more

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