1. |
Sidwis
03:47
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I grind my teeth in my sleep
I bite my tongue until it bleeds
And it’s always hard to breathe
Sometimes I’m dizzy when I scream
It’s like I have to cut it out of me
Or rip it out from deep beneath
That part of me that comes and goes with pain
The thing that’s keeping me awake
There comes the flood that washes me away
There comes the wave that takes me out
And then it’s over, nothing left of me
I don’t know what it‘s all about
I think of things that I did wrong a couple years ago
And then the ceiling crashes down on me, the vertigo kicks in
Oh how can anyone decide to spend their time with me
I‘d recommend them to keep looking there’s much more to see
It’s like I have to cut it out of me
Or rip it out from deep beneath
That part of me that comes and goes with pain
The thing that’s keeping me awake
There comes the flood that washes me away
There comes the wave that takes me out
And then it’s over, nothing left of me
I don’t know what it’s all about
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2. |
But I'll Go
03:59
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Everything I do is not enough
Everything you do is just too much
I don’t know if I’ll make it without you
I don’t know if I deserve to make it through
But I’ll go to this place with you
And you show me how it feels for you
And you teach me how to deal with me
Now I can see things I couldn’t see
I need help to get some help
Sometimes it’s harder than you think
And maybe it isn’t as bad
And maybe it’s worse than it has been
And I thought you would be enough
But it just doesn’t work that way
And sometimes I don’t want it to get better anyway
But I’ll go to this place with you
And you show me how it feels for you
And you teach me how to deal with me
Now I can see things I couldn’t see
But I’ll go, with you
But I’ll go, with you
But I’ll go, with you
And I’ll go to this place with you
And you show me how it feels for you
And you teach me how to deal with me
Now I can see things I couldn’t see
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3. |
Flowers On Your Floor
04:20
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Flowers on the carpet on your floor
Your bedroom door locked from inside
Flowers on the carpet on your floor
The water of your eyes helps them grow every night
That you cry in your sleep for help
I can hear you at night
Through my walls when you cry
But when I see you there’s only dead silence
I don't see you anymore
Only the flowers on your floor
That you take care of when you feel worse
They get to see you when you cry
Oh they see you all the time
But flowers grow better outside
Flowers on the carpet on your floor
Sometimes the only life inside
Flowers on the carpet on your floor
When you badly suffer they grow and they thrive
Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh
I can hear you at night
Through my walls when you cry
And when I see your red eyes
It is no surprise
Oh when I see you...
I don't see you anymore
Only the flowers on your floor
That you take care of when you feel worse
They get to see you when you cry
Oh they see you all the time
But flowers grow better outside
Oh I don't see you anymore
Only the flowers on your floor
That you take care of when you feel worse
They get to see you when you cry
Oh they see you all the time
But flowers grow better outside
Why don't you see me anymore
I stand in front of your locked door
And I beg you to let me help you
But I can't help you anymore
You're doing worse than before
And the flowers on your floor are withered
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4. |
Never Awake
03:08
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I always think Im wrong
I’m too depressed all day long
The worst is yet to come
I’m rude and mean to some
I hate myself too much
I am not strong enough
I love this life but hate myself
I should feel good but I feel worse
I have everything I want in my life
But I cry all the time
And I’m never awake
And I’m never awake
And I’m never awake
I am so messed up
Is there anyone who can fix that
Is there anything that I could do
To make myself feel good as new
For me, and even for you
I love this life but hate myself
I should feel good but I feel worse
I have everything I want in my life
But I cry all the time
And I’m never awake
And I’m never awake
And I’m never awake
I love this life but hate myself
I should feel good but I feel worse
I have everything I want in my life
But I cry all the time
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5. |
Same Way Home
04:28
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Lying in the dark
Staring at the stars
In this darkness I’m alone
I hear things that I have known
The monks across the riverbed
Would probably be just as sad
If they would walk the same way home
If they would walk it all alone
The growling from the water reed
Gets louder and it takes the lead
In this dark midnight symphony
That somebody wrote just for me
All these nocturnal creatures here
Are gathering around the deer
That’s standing in the moonlight spot
And waiting for its life to stop
The monks across the riverbed
Would probably be just as sad
If they would walk the same way home
If they would walk it all alone
The monks across the riverbed
Would probably be just as sad
If they would walk the same way home
If they would walk it all alone
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6. |
Dory
03:15
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Watching the earth at night
While fighting falling asleep
Cause I don’t want the sun to rise again
And it helps me to ignore
Myself if I don’t get too loud
So I’m stuffing a pillow in my face
Sometimes I watch Finding Dory
Cause it looks beautiful to me
And I think that it’s better
Than the first movie
And I hate to hear my neighbours
And I’m scared to make a sound
And the best part of the day
Is to fall asleep at night
And I’ll fall asleep at 3 o'clock today
Just like any other night
Sometimes I spend all of my evenings
Searching for something to watch
And then I end up watching nothing
Cause nothing seemed to be the one
Sometimes I watch Finding Dory
Cause it looks beautiful to me
And I think that it’s better
Than the first movie
And I hate to hear my neighbours
And I’m scared to make a sound
Sometimes I watch Finding Dory
Cause it looks beautiful to me
And I think that it’s better
Than the first movie
And I hate to hear my neighbours
And I’m scared to make a sound
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7. |
Interlude
02:14
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They‘re wondering why everyone’s depressed these days
Have they seen what’s going on in this world
I guess it doesn’t matter to them, they are pretty old
Maybe they won’t see the things that they are being told
Sometimes I think that it would be best
If the things we fear will happen
Would happen so there’d be some rest
Maybe there won’t be much left
Anyways, let’s take a risk
If you want to see how long it takes keep going
Somebody told me
they don’t wanna have kids
Cause how cruel would it be to put somebody in a world like this
And I can understand them
But to think about it hurts
The only way to cope with it is to live in my own world
Nobody can get in and nobody gets out
And everything around us is real close to being worn out
I think I won’t come back this time
I’m already burned out
I’ll always have a ton of stuff to worry about
The people that start thinking are the saddest in the world
You talk and talk and talk but you do not speak a word
Don’t wanna live here anymore
Don’t wanna breathe this air no more
Don’t wanna see a face no more
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8. |
Crying At A Concert
04:14
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I’m crying at a concert
Cause this is how I feel stuff
I hadn’t felt anything in a long long time
I think it’s getting worse
There’s nothing left that hurts
There’s nothing left to say
So I’m going away
My brain attacks my inside
And eats up every feeling
The things I love and things I hate
become blurred in a fog
creeping up to the ceiling
It slowly fills the room I’m in
and I start to lose my sight
When I open the window it just won’t leave
and I start to close my eyes
I have lost the fight
I have lost the fight
I think it’s getting worse
There’s nothing left that hurts
There’s nothing left to say
So I’m going away
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9. |
Isolation
03:11
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I’m stuck here in this room
I don’t know what else I could do
It seems like I’ve done everything
That I could do to keep me sane
And so I’m lying in my childhood room
And I feel trapped in my own home
There’s nothing I could do about it
Just hope that it’s not long
I miss you way too much
It really hurts a lot
Oh I miss everyone
I can’t see anyone
And I don’t have the strength
To get out of my bed
Just wish that I could fall asleep again and
Flip the off switch on my brain
And so I’m lying in my childhood room
And I feel trapped in my own home
There’s nothing I could do about it
Just hope that it’s not long
Ohooo, Ohooo, Ohooo, Ohooo
Ohooooo, Ohooo, Ohooo, Ohooo
And so I’m lying in my childhood room
And I feel trapped in my own home
There’s nothing I could do about it
Just hope that it’s not long
Ohh, just hope that it’s not long
Ohh, just hope that it’s not long
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10. |
In The Clouds
04:13
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Hold your breath
and hide your bitterness
From everyone around
Head in the clouds
And show some happiness
Have both feet on the ground
Be the strong one, every time
Hold them in your arms
Shut your mouth
Don’t talk about yourself
Don’t ask for help
Head in the clouds
Scream and shout
No one around
So just be loud
Do it ‘til it hurts
drown your inner words
in alcohol and pain
No path for you to take
No choice for you to make
It’s their blood in your veins
Head in the clouds
Scream and shout
No one around
So just be loud
Just be loud
Just be loud
Just be loud
Just be loud, just be loud, Oh Oh
Just be loud, just be loud, Oh Oh
I’ll open the front door for you but you will have to walk out yourself
Say what you always wanted to say without getting ignored
They‘ll close the door behind you if you leave now there’ll be no coming back
Tell them to fuck off right now and run away without a regret
Head in the clouds
Scream and shout
No one around
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11. |
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I fall into your arms
The only one who doesn’t make me feel alone
I feel it in my heart
I feel it when you’re gone
I need your arms
Need to feel your heart
And I need your warmth
It is so cold and still
I’m cold still
Broken, in silence standing still
Broken, in silence
Don’t you know that I just can’t stop
dreaming in the night
Don’t you know that I’ll just fly
until I’m real high
Don’t you know that all I want
is you to hold me tight
Don’t you know, Oh
Don’t you know, Oh
Broken, in silence standing still
Broken, in silence standing still
Broken, in silence standing still
Broken, in silence
Broken, in silence standing still
Broken, iIn silence standing still
Broken, in silence standing still
Broken, in silence
Broken, in silence standing still
Broken, in silence standing still
Broken, in silence standing still
Broken, in silence
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Deer Anna Hamburg, Germany
A scream doesn't always have to be loud. In the case of indie pop musician Deer Anna, it sounds soft, casual, and true. Sometimes I'm Dizzy When I Scream is the name of the artist’s debut album. And this dizziness, the giddiness and reeling set in when the panic attacks come, when depression takes over one's body. But also when beauty makes everything in you waver to the best of its ability. ... more
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